Writing
Chris writes once and publishes once. Subscribers get it by email through Substack; here it's kept in full, set the way it should be read, and it stays.
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01 —Essays
On Friday night, I popped into the pub for a friend's birthday.
I'd been with the kids for the evening and was late on parade, so everybody at the pub had enjoyed something of a head start. By the time I sauntered in at nearly half ten they were, to apply the appropriate technical terminology, proper shitfaced.
Read essay →Today is World Suicide Prevention Day.
I've written quite a lot recently about depression. More than I ever expected to, really. I've lived with it for most of my adult life. I started taking antidepressants in my early twenties and stayed on them, at various doses, for the best part of twenty years. I've had periods where I've been…
Read essay →The difference between accountability and self-condemnation.
Every reaction to every conflict became a cross-examination. I just didn’t realise I was always the one in the witness box. There was a time in my life when my reactions left me with broken bones in my hand. I’ve still got the scars to prove it. These days it’s more likely to be a raised voice or a…
Read essay →Last Tuesday I stood in front of fifteen lads at the end of training and reminded them where we'd finished last season.
Third. Our highest finish ever, and a brilliant season by any measure. Then I reminded them it didn't matter anymore. Not because it wasn't worth celebrating. It absolutely was; but because we'd celebrated it and now it was time to move on.
Read essay →It was never really about the knife...
The best present I’ve ever been bought? A kitchen knife. No contest. I was absolutely over the fucking moon. Which probably isn’t surprising coming from someone who thinks donning a fresh pair of socks gives you superpowers.
Read essay →It's not what it looks like, I swear...
The Instagram Reels algorithm seems to think I want to spend my precious free time watching "satisfying" videos of people in wellies power-washing filthy rugs. And, let me tell you... It is bang on the fucking money. I love that shit.
Read essay →Chilli tequila, family planning & acrophobia. The Unholy Trinity.
There are holidays you remember because they're relaxing. There are holidays you remember because something goes spectacularly wrong. Then there's the holiday where you decide to start a family the night before voluntarily throwing yourself off a mountain.
Read essay →02 —Notes
Observations and asides. The habit of years of writing in public, kept up.
I was once accused of having “delusions of grandeur”, which seems like a pretty impertinent thing to say to The King Of The Universe.
On SubstackWhenever someone says, "Do bears shit in the woods?", I point out that polar bears don't and then congratulate myself on being really quite brilliant.
On SubstackI never know whether to be furious or impressed when I can't get the lid off a tube of superglue.
On SubstackWhat's your earliest food memory? Mine is mixing spices for my dad's curry while he chopped onions beside me. My daughter's is sitting on the kitchen worktop every Sunday picking rosemary for the roast potatoes. Funny how the things we remember are rarely the food itself. I'd genuinely love to hear yours.
On Substack
